"He did deliver me from bondage"

I have not written but once since we returned from our trip at seaside.  I have felt like a whirlwind has been upon me with all the events that have taken place.  I am so happy to report that the Lord has provided a way for me to return home during the afternoon a few times a week.  It has been two weeks now and I have gotten to come home between 2-3 pm.  I have Amicherie come and get me after school so that I do come home, and I take care of business if needed and mostly take care of my children.  Getting dinner and doing the dishes all seem very wonderful to me.  It is like I have gotten to have my hearts desire given back to me and I am so gratiful. 

We have been busy with Football, plays, concerts, church, and such that I have neglicted my core needs.  I have been so busy about getting things set up to come home that I have need to get back to my basics.  I feel as if the "body" is ruling my "spirit" and I am in depirate need to get that back into control.  It is so evident in my physical weight gain when I am out of control.  I have hit the "top" of my boundrary again.  Just a few weeks ago I was getting things back into balance and acheived losing 4 pounds, but now that is back on and I so need to have this Fast Sunday to help get me in balance.

So back to one of my favorite books, the Book of Mormon Manual that seem to start all my healing, my understanding, and my testimony stregthening.  It is by Colleen C Harris, "He did deliver me from Bondage".  It is used in the church social services for years,  I am not sure if they still do, but it is the place I go to get things back in order- the book of Mormon.  So those that would like to read and add their thougths I would love to hear how you feel about certain subjects.

The intoduction I was reading thru, mostly going over my highlighted areas.  Daniel 10:12 is noted as the begin point for the author in turning her life over to Him and allowing for His help.  "Fear not, for from the first day that thou didst set thine heart to understand, and to chasten thyself before thy God, thy words were heard and I am come for thy words".  Colleen states "I didn't realize that at that moment of complete surrender, I was about to enter a whole new life, a life turned inside out".  .."from the moment of my admittance of personal powerlessness, of my absolute need for Him, He had taken over"..."somewhere on the inside something was different.  ...Pres. Benson's words: 'God Changes men from the inside out'...(page iv)
The Big Book that they used at her meeting was the 12 step program for AA.  "It is totally focused on turning us to God and our relationship with Him.  ....I see them learn to relax their own stranglehold onlife and others, trust God, and tackle a fine-tooth comb repentance process for themselves that makes even a Latter-day Saint Wince". 

140 pounds loss was what took place for her, when she finally turned it over to the Lord.  "And the greatest blessing of all was that I know that I didn't do it alone.  I know it was by the grace of God that He lifted my borken and bleeding soul from the bedroom floor that day and led me to a program that would turn my face to Him and not teach me self-mastery or self-sufficiency or that I just had to do more.  Instead, it taught me that what I have to do is believe more, ask more and receive more." (page vi introduction)

So I will begin this journey again.  I have loved this manual of the scriptures.  She saw in the "Big Book" from AA that there was truth taught and success because of truth.  And she found that each principle was backed by the Book of Mormon and Bible scriptures.  I have read this manual more times than I can remember and yet I find such great knowledge, because it is the scriptures that are the principles.  I hope to share with you my thougths, not for your benefit, but for mine.  I need Him.  I need Him always and with the distractions of the world I forget how much.  This will put that "natural man" back in place and the "spiritual man" in front again. 

Maintain faith in face of opposition.

Fortunately, there are several things you can do when your faith is being tried. Pres. Kimball has counseled.

1. I have on occasion cited the need for many reservoirs in our lives to provide for our needs. I have said “some reservoirs are to store water; some store food like Joseph did in the land of Egypt during the seven years of plenty. There should also be reservoirs of knowledge to meet the future needs; reservoirs of courage to overcome the floods of fear that put uncertainty in our lives; reservoirs of physical strength to help us meet the frequent burdens of work and illness; reservoirs of goodness; reservoirs of stamina; reservoirs of faith.

Yes, especially reservoirs of faith, so that when the world presses in upon us, we stand firm and strong; when the temptations of a decaying world about us draw on our energies, sap our spiritual vitality, and seek to pull us down, we need a storage of faith that can carry youth, and later adults over the dull, the difficult, the terrifying moments; disappointments; disillusionments; and years of adversity, want, confusion, ands frustration.

2. Read and reflect upon the following scriptures:

“I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions…Come unto me all that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matt. 11:28-30

3. When you feel a need for a spiritual lift in times of disappointment or discouragement read and reread Alma 17-26. If you will read these chapters prayerfully you will be inspirited and given the strength to endure your trials of faith.

4. Memorize the phrase “For after much tribulation come the blessings.”

5. Identify a personal collection of favorite scriptures and quotations and read them when your faith is being tried. Suggestions Alma 26: 23-35: 2 Corinthians 1:4-7

6. Reread this book Drawing upon the powers of heaven By Grant Von Harrison.

Faith will be tried

So I am getting to the end of this book on drawing on the powers of heaven and I have learned that a person must be humble himself and prove that his faith by perseverance and sustanined faithfulness, the righteous desire will be granted. I am at the learning part of what perseverance and sustanined faithfulness means. It is a trial of our faith. So on a personal note, I have been praying to be able to make it possible for me to work at home in the afternoon. Owning my own business gives me a lot of power to do that, however with the amount of work I have it does not always give me the time. I desire to be home as I have always desired to be home in the past. Coming into the family business was not my plan and when it happened it was a very hard trial for me. However it is now five years since it all took place and I am very grateful for the opportunity to have an income that allows me such flexibility. So how to get home and work from here in the afternoon is my desire and help needed. That is what I have put to the Lord to help me accomplish.

Trail of my faith, I must continue to pray for this with a petition unto the Lord to show my great desire. Page 48 states that we must remain faithful in the face of opposition. If a person knows that his faith is going to be tried, it gives him a greater resolve to be persistent in times of opposition. The Trial of our faith serves four functions. 1. It determines if a goal you are seeking is truly a desire, 2. It lets you learn if you are really dedicated to the Lord, 3. It is a means of purging you so that you become clean, pure and spotless- literally free from the blood and sins of the world; and 4. It humbles you and brings you to the realization that you cannot rely on the “arm of flesh.” By overcoming opposition and enduring affliction we are in a very literal sense purged and made clean. When you endure opposition by serving the Lord to the utmost of your ability- no matter how limited your ability is- the grace of God is sufficient to intervene in your behalf: you have the promise that you can become “perfect in Christ.” It is by this means that you can qualify for the Spirit of the Lord in spite of the limitation of the flesh. Page 50 Enduring hardships patiently are a great virtue and will bring maturity, stability, and spiritual strength… You have the assurance that with the spirit as your companion you can resolve difficulties.

And to sum it up I love this quote by David O McKay page 51 Spirituality impels one to conquer difficulties and acquire more and more strength.
Have a great week this week sisters. I am off to the coast with My husband tomorrow evening celebrating our 19 years of marriage.

New Authors

I am so excited to have some of you want to partisipate in this blog.   I hope we can report to one another on what are desires are as mothers, grandmothers, sisters, and friends.  I enjoyed Danette's Testimony on Sunday.  I remember feeling the anxiety with such great intensity as she did this week, puting her young son on the bus for the first time.  I still have that feeling at times as I see my children in the High School settings where they are with others that I would not want them to associates with, however we are to be in the world and not of the world.  So the time I spent teaching them is now on the line. 
Thanks Tracy

Control Your Mind

It is written by Brigham Young that the greatest mystery is to control the Human mind. It will unlock the powers of Heaven. If that is so, than I want to know how to control my mind more. In the reading of this section of the book "Drawing upon the powers of Heaven" it is teaching about how if we have a desire we will try and keep it in our mind as often as we can. What we dream is what we can achieve. I have heard that statement over the years but I am not sure I really believed it like I am beginning to now. Mostly I did not understand what it was saying, or how to achieve it.



Joseph Smith said "When a man works by faith he works by mental exertion instead of by physical force." So what does this mental exertion mean? Page 36 "In order to exert yourself mentally you must have power and dominion over your mind. You cannot allow your mind to be easily distracted or to focus on something that is extraneous to the purpose or object of your desired blessing. For instance, when you call upon the Lord for his blessings, do you find yourself thinking about things you need to do, or do other mundane preoccupations pop into your mind? The next time you pray or meditate, see if you have power and control over your mind sufficient to keep it from wandering during your attempt to communicate with the Lord. ....If you allow your mind to dwell randomly on other things... you will be limited in your ability to draw on the power of faith and your mind will not be a source of power for you."



My thoughts have this power to unlock great things, and if concentration on a desire is the first step, than satan's ploy to interrupt our thought by distraction is a great tool of his. To weaken our mind is to weaken our power. I went to a movie the other week and found it to be somewhat boring, mostly because there was no action, fast paced movement of the camera and so forth. I had seen some of those this summer with my children. I know in the past I would have really enjoyed this movie and I could not help think why am I not enjoying this? I think it is because I have become distracted by the experience of the movies I had recently seen. Is it the same with other areas of my life?

Exert yourself Mentally

A week has gone by and what a week with the end of summer and shopping and preparation for school. I know that I have been much drained with all the demands. But I have tried to take time to read and to continue in learning how to draw upon the powers of heaven to help me. I can report with all that going on that I have actually been able to talk with my children about their goals, their desires on what they would like to achieve in all areas of their lives, and it has been rewarding to do so. I want them to begin to learn how to draw upon the powers of Heaven to become what they desire, to realize that those desires are very powerful first steps in becoming who they will be.

I have been reading on page 34 about exerting yourself mentally. It is eye opening to me to realize how our thoughts are such a power of good or evil to our lives. "The thought process itself is the key to exercising faith. ...it will mold your attitude and determine what you will accomplish during your life." It goes on to talk about how if we don't have our desires in our thoughts preoccupying them that they really are not a desire. But to have a true desire is to think upon that thing often and with a positive attitude. Placing things around our home, work, in the car, or where we can see these reminders will help to bring to our mind that desire.

I believe that distractions in our lives are in full intent to defeat our thoughts from staying focus on our desires. Satan does a good job of this. How often have you gotten up from your knees determined to be single minded in one thing that day, or to concentrate of accomplishing one thing, or to not do a certain thing. I think of the times in my life that dieting was that thought, that desire, and yet so very hard to accomplish. It still is. I have a desire to eat more health, I know it is a commandment, I know that physical and spiritual benefits that will come from it. I know that I am weak and must have the Lord to help me. However I fail over and over again to control that. I wonder if I am truly keeping that in my thoughts the way I should. I know that the distractions of raising a family, working outside the home and trying to keep my home clean is enough to make me feel overwhelmed and defeated at times, but is that what is defeating my positive thoughts and therefore my true desire from being manifested, thus a change to happen?

On page 35 "do not confuse the preoccupation of worry and anxiety with the preoccupation involved in exercising faith. When your mind is prone to dwell on the adverse consequences of events which you assume you have very little control over, that is worry. In contrast, if your mind dwells on the possible consequences of various course of action which you will control to a great extent, you are exercising faith."

Worry and anxiety is such a taxing and exhausting to us spiritually and physically.

My sister in law has been in the hospital on life support this last month. She is at home now, but recovery is slow and will be a long process. I was not aware how the worry and anxiety was so taxing upon my physically. Her sweet husband was nearly beside himself for the first few days. But after help from friends and family he was able to let the negative feelings go and come to peace that if the Lord took her than he would be willing to let her go. Once that thought replaced the great anxiety of his heart, a peace came over him that lasted for the next week until she came out of her comma and began to recover. Her recovery was a miracle and the ICU nurses and staff commented on how they just wanted to just watch her, because it was something they did not get to see often.

My brother in laws desire to conform to the plan that Father had for them, was the key to his peace. His spiritual health has greatly increased and his love for his wife has manifested itself like never before. The power of prayer was called upon by our stake and the desire and pleading to have the father help us was heard and granted. If the outcome would have been different, would we have increase in faith?

Lastly if this controlling our thoughts is so important what do we do to measure that this is happening? Mental exertion involves 1. Being conscious of our thoughts. 2. Scrutinizing our thoughts, 3. Replacing negative one with possible thoughts. If we can not allow our minds to wander and learn to concentrate on one thing at a time, while we pray for instance, than we are gaining control over our thoughts.

Greatest Spritual Gift is Charity

   In my reading the other day It was explained how great the spirit of Charity is and that a man found not possed with it was nothing.  It went on to explain in detail the list of things that we have all read many times.  However in church today I began to wonder how can I teach my children these Charitble attributes and get them to be part of my life also. 
   My family has a family scripture that is Eph 6:11 "Put on the whole armor of God".  I began to list the characteristics of chartiy and tried to tie each one to a piece of the armor.  I have begun to see where they fit and will begin to impliment them into our family motto. 
   If charity, being mentioned over and over in the scriptures is so important I must know each characteristic and strive to become such.  For to be charitable helps us over come our imperfections.  B. Young explained that because we are full of imperfections it is our duty to pray to God to give us gifts of the Gospel to over come them.  In fact gifts of the spirit are intended for this purpose, to aid man in overcoming his imprefections. 
   I must note that I am an "anti" perfect person.  I had for years tried to bring to the Lord a perfect person, not understanding the atonement as one does to have such  thougths.  But it was a hard and guilty road one leads when those thougths are at the for front of your daily life.  I found the truth of the atonement and that we are all imprefect and can not be perfect with out the Lord Jesus Christ.  One of my favorite scriptures is found in Moroni 10: 32 "Come unto Christ and be perfected in him".  I had it backwards for years trying to be perfect than He would love me, he would call me friend, he would be proud of me, at least that is what I immagined.  It was incorrect thinking, he loves me broken, bruised, even defective.  He does not want only the good part of me, but all of me.  He wants the parts that only he can fix, the parts that only he will overcome for me.  He wants all of me. 
   Knowing that about myself it is a new step I take in even thinking about tackling the "perfectionism" that I had for years only brought me defeat over and over.  However this time my knowledge of the atonement is much more accurate and the idea that I can ask for gifts of the spirit to help me to overcome my imperfections, or to get better at them is hopeful.  I have often said that there is only one thing that I can strive to be perfect in and that was repentance.  Maybe this is not all, maybe with the desire to hope that I may be able to be more like my Savior with the help of the spirit of God thru his gifts I can add to that.
   Charity, we have all read about this gift many times, which in fact are many many gifts titled under Charity which is a new realization to me.  To be Charitable is to
1. Long suffering- full of patience, being faithful that the Lord has a plan that will bring great peace and happiness to our lives if we allow him to be in charge and not doubt.
2. kind- being aware of another's needs and showing empathy, kindness to them, treating them as we would want to be treated.
3. Not envious- being satisfied  with what we have and recognizing that we have suffient for our needs.
4. Not puffed up- a prideless person is one that really is secure about who they are.  They don't need praise, or recognition for they are not seeking that. 
5. Serves the interst of others- with out seeking his own, or some reward for himself. 
6. Not easily provoked- allows others to have bad days, opinions contray to their opinions, life styles that are different.  Instead of being angery a not easily provoked person pray for that person, for life will be harder than it has to be for them.  This person is gratiful for the knowledge that they have, that allows them to not become angery.       
7. Not thinking of evil things- spending their time wisely and productively in things that are uplifting nad where the spirit can dwell.
8. Rejoices in Truth- seeks truth out, supports truth and stands up for truth. 
9. Bears his trials- accepts the plan given to him by Father, accepting it, and showing this thru an attitute of positiveness vs. an attitude of being the victum. 
10. Believeth all truth- recognizes truth when spoken thus also recognizeth when it is not spoken.
11. He will evidence a prevailing hope in all the promises made in the holy scriptures,- (No thougths on this one.) any one know? 
12. Endureth with out waivering- hangs on to the end knowing the plan of salvation, understanding or praying to understand the trial before us is a test, a test to become closer to the Lord, to ask for spiritual gifts that will allow us to overcome. Hopes for success with Christ's help.
(spell check not working tonight sorry!)

Spirit of Discernment

I was rereading some of Chapter Three and wanted to write what I had learned. We are to seek the gifts of the spirit. One of the gifts that I am going to be praying for is the gift of discernment. B. Young said that "Do you not know that you need the spirit of the almighty to look through a man and discern what is in his heart, while his face smiles upon you and his words flow as smoothly as oil."

To not be deceived in these later days will be a great feat, one in which we are not left alone to acheive. But we have gifts of the spirit to help us. I however not only want to have this spirit for that reason, but especially now with my children I want that gift. Because it will help me to discern my childrens thought and feelings, and give me the ability to know what to say and do. These will be greatly enhanced when I have this gift, B. young promised.

I have to ask in prayer to have this gift and explain to Father why I want it and how it will help me and others. I need to seek insight about and understand the gift more fully thur study of the scriptures.

Once we have this gift we will be able to function with inspiration in all facets of our lives. Does anyone know more about this gift and where I might study more about it?

I do desire to have it in my life, and I am going to strive to plead my case to the Lord on what I would use it to do. I have faith that I will receive this gift when I fully understand it.

Book Review

I have been reading "Drawing upon the powers of heaven" by Von Harris. I received it as a gift when I entered the MTC. I began reading it over 20 years ago and never finished. The last winter our ward finished studying together the book by Sherrie Johnson "Spiritually Centered motherhood" I was bothered by the spirit to see this book out again and read it.

Just a few weeks ago I went in the garage and dug it out. I actually remembered where I had last saw it years ago, and you know the spirit was helping me, just on that part alone :).

I wanted to record my thoughts so that I could learn more and hopefully retain the knowledge of drawing upon the powers of heaven to use in my daily life with raising my children and striving to return to our Heavenly Father.

I hope to encourage others to read this book with me and post their thought and findings to the blog also. That we may all be edified is the goal.

Tracy D